Why am I not doing the things I know I should?!!

I know what I should and should not eat to feel better, have less bloat, more energy.

I know I should stop binge watching these shows and do ALL that other stuff I keep putting off

I know that I need to be in bed by 10pm, no phone, no computer, to get my best sleep.

I know that I should not hit the snooze button five times in the morning and "just" get up.

I know what I have to do every day to hit my fitness goals.

I know what I have to do every day to feed my body the nutrition it needs to compete.

I know what I have to do every day to stay on track to achieve my dreams.

I know what I have to do every day to meet minimum (forget maximum some days) expectations set for myself.

I know that I should journal....read daily....make smoothies, drink less, drink more water.....walk...

This list could go on and on, right?

So what the hell is the problem since I know I need to do certain things to feel better!!!

The problem is this....its accountability. I am the only one I am accountable to. We are all only accountable to ourselves. Sure we have family, friends, loved ones that support us, encourage us, even at times, motivate us, but at the end of the day it is YOU in the mirror and no one else. We are our own worst motivator!

So what do we do? Beat ourselves up and break ourselves down for yet another day of missed achievements and lack of strides toward a better version of you. How do WE fix it? How do I break the cycle? Heck, I even know it can be done because I've lived it before. That moment in life when I "liked" myself. I'm talking about the "love" of where I was in life. Competing, healthy, lean, spot on focused, determined, and freakin' crushing it. Ever have a time in your life that you constantly compare todays version of you to? I do, Everyday. Its hard to compete with the past, especially when you're not even close to the same person. Stop competing with her, it's only me.

Yes, so break the cycle? Fix the pattern? It's been said that the reason we struggle with accountability is because we have past trauma from it. *(Mike Robbins, We Are All in This Together). Let that resonate a bit. Shame, judgement, I mean look how we treat ourselves at times. If we don't put a goal out there, then we never disappoint ourselves, right? Absolutely no accountability, no problem, easier to "just" not do it. And there is the answer...It is easier to not disappoint yourself yet again and not do it. Fear of failure. Safe and comfortable, right? For some, safe and comfortable is great. But is it? How is your health, eating habits, exercise routine, activity in general, work, love your job? And what about loving yourself?

Yeah, I have all these great ideas with a "fresh" new start, but when one of those is missed, might as well quit on the rest of them. Sound familiar?

Well, let me explain what effects accountability has when you stick to it! Feelings of competency, ownership of oneself, accomplishments, and there is a powerful feeling of greatness within! And believe it or not, you will shine!

Change the behavior, change the out come, but how? I mean I've already shamed myself because I didn't follow through on a run today, or drink as much water as I set my goal, or take that time for mindfulness....or whatever "IT" thing I didn't accomplish today. BECAUSE, it's too much at once!!! We decide we want to change, and change EVERYTHING all at the same time. And that is why we frankly, fail. I have learned to start small. My first routine was drinking one glass of water first thing after getting out of bed! Yes, that was it. My second routine learned was drinking two bottles of water before noon. My third routine, reading in bed, no phone, no TV, no electronics. One new "habit" at a time, right? I am working on another routine right now, blogging, three days a week (whether they all make it live to the website is another story). Habits, bad ones are hard to break and positive ones are even harder to start. I decided to not call them habits, a "dirty" word anyway, and call new improvements "routines". Routines for life, habits seem to come and go. I want consistent life changing routines. So, am I disciplined enough? Will my accountability hold up for the long game?

I believe so! What do I do? I want to keep incorporating more, a little more at a time...I want my accountability factor to beam greatness! I get the book to journal in, but I journal food and water intake, and exercise. Journal what I like to, not what I think I should. I buy books about running, the science, mechanics, and history behind it. I buy new running shoes, a camera I can run with (head gear camera, can't wait to use it) and finally the running watch. What does this do? Keeps me accountable for my love of running. While I am doing what I love, I am also incorporating the other things I find "difficult" to do. Now those difficult things are wrapped around something that is near and dear to me.

Trust me, I still want to do it all, all the time, and that makes for some challenging days. I usually have to "check" myself to stop that behavior. Will I stop from from hitting the snooze button? Yes. Will there be some days I fall short of myself? I hope not. I have big dreams and goals. Am I perfect? No, and accountability will remind me I am not. There will be times I fall short of "her" and that's ok. I will remind myself of GREATNESS and begin again, for myself, to prove I am capable and accountable, every day to ME!